Disappointment and Teachanywhere

Notes From the General Manager, By Diane Jacoutot

Yesterday was a traumatic day for me because I had a haircut.

Yes I know what you are thinking – what’s the big deal? The thing is, I have had essentially the same haircut for 5 years. Yup, I am one of those people.  In my defence, however, I would like to point out that my sister in law has had the same haircut for more than 25 years, so it could be worse.

 And yesterday was the day I was going to change it. I had hemmed and hawed and worked up to this for about 6 months and had printed out photos of what I wanted, as well as what I didn’t want. I was armed and ready for H-Day.

But when I got to the shop, I found out to my horror that I had been booked in with the wrong hairdresser. Not my tried, true and trusted hair stylist of many years. No, due to a computer error I got someone completely unknown. And worse, this someone had asymmetrical pink hair, so this was someone whose idea of what looked good was several light years away from mine. What to do?

I stood there uncomprehendingly for a moment, first confused, then angry. It wasn’t my fault – I had made the appointment 9 weeks ago.  What to do? Wait another 4 weeks for a suitable appointment when I already looked like Cousin It from the Adam’s Family? Give up my dream and go for a the same 5 year old cut, or take a huge risk and see if she could do it. It was a hugely disappointing decision to have to make.

Disappointment is a fact of life. We are disappointed every day but it is how we deal with it that makes the difference.  And let me tell you, teachers who go abroad have got to have top notch coping mechanisms because with so many unknowns you are bound to be disappointed at least once.

I find that people react to disappointments in one of three ways.  Not that people don’t go through a range of emotions when dealing with disappointment – but it is where you stick that is the most telling.

1.       Anger.  (or Kill The Messenger) Every consultant at Teachanywhere has dealt with a candidate who doesn’t like what we can offer them, or they don’t like the fact that the international world is the way it is, and they lash out at us. We can’t help it if many countries have formal or informal age restrictions, or that many schools are not family friendly or that stiff competition in some popular locations mean that some teachers don’t get a peek at a good school in the land of their dreams.   Teachers who stick at the Angry Stage are really not cut out for international teaching, I believe, because they will be angry all or most of the time because things will not be done the way you are used to or think is right.

2.       Despair.  (or I Give Up) Some people throw up their hands and land in a sea of self pity from which it is hard to escape.  It’s an emotional purgatory.   Teachers who stick at this stage just tend to fade away, never have achieved their goals which I find quite sad, really. And sometimes they try to drag you with them.

3.       Acceptance and Positive Action. (or What Positive Thing Can I Do?) This of course is my favourite one, and is the sign of a resilient personality. I’m not saying it’s easy to move beyond anger and despair and try to address a situation in a positive way through your own action, but if you are the kind of person who usually lands here then teaching abroad will probably suit you.  I have a hundred stories of this.  A newly qualified Teacher calls up wanting a job in a top school in a popular location, and when we tell them they need 2-3 years of solid experience before they will be considered, and they actually listen and go get the experience (either at home or through a job in a less popular location) ... and then once done, call us back.   This week a very experienced teacher who had been unfairly harassed by his Head Teacher in a posh UK school was told he could spend a year and many thousands of pounds taking his school to court and might possibly win... or he could sign a lucrative compromise agreement with a gag clause and walk away to a great school in Europe that we lined up for him.  Tough choice ... justice or self preservation... but when we talked about weighing up what ‘good’ could come of each, his decision was made and I believe in the long run it is the right one.

Overseas teachers must also realise the limitations of positive action. You are not going to, nor should you be able to, change the culture of your host country to suit your sensibilities nor will you be able to change your school leader’s style and personality. You have to know when something is out of your control.  But you can control your actions, weigh up the long term and short term options, and make an intelligent choice about your own actions that benefit you in the long run and result in something good.  Realistic optimism will get you a long way, internationally, with a healthy dose of patience, acceptance and adaptability.

When you go abroad you will undoubtedly see all three types of people. But I encourage you to seek out the latter type, because it’s no accident that they always seem to land on their feet.